Sky is another space, another world not part
of mine. Perhaps it’s an experience where you can be another
thing. I don’t know how to define that space. Maybe I’m
trying to find myself in it.
There are so many beautiful things in nature. But the beauty I seek
is not conventional. I love barrenness, shadows. Perhaps they appeal
to me because I’m a loner. I was full of films and people
after attending the 1998 Film Festival in New Delhi. I wanted to
get away on my own after that stint. I went off to Ladakh and stayed
in a small village. Everyday, I used to go for a walk with my camera.
Never have I clicked pictures so carefully. That's because I had
with me only five rolls of film, I had'nt planned this to be a photography
trip. It just came about that way. That’s why I call my collection
of photographs ‘In Search of Another Sky’ (recently
exhibited at Gallery Espace, New Delhi).
OUT ALONE
She stood at one end of veranda
A naked bulb glowed
At the other end
Staining the dark floor
With dull yellow light
Beyond the empty ward
Dragged echoes of the
autumn night
From pillar to pillar
In severe silence
Moved brilliant shadows
Out alone in the cold she stood
Night after night
Fighting her demons
Her body frail and brittle
Flapped life-like
On two glass feet
The torched face broken
Then tracked together, so bluntly
The ridged joints showed
Hounded eyes that did not blink
Frozen in a deathlike glaze
Her fragile spirit, splintered…
These are not the features
She was born with
This is the face we gave her
(a poem from Deepti Naval's forthcoming
collection - about a woman in a mental ward)
For me, nature is God. The rest is
man- made, like religion. Spirituality is often mixed up with religion.
. I’m opposed to all religious practices. Spirituality means
living life with basic things. I think of an existence that is not
acquisition oriented, a quality of life which is quality of mind.
I spent about 10 days at Igatpuri near Bombay, doing vipassana.
It was a soul-searching experience. There were no chanting, no rituals,
nothing. It was difficult because they compelled you to look at
yourself. But to me, that made sense.
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